Much Ado About Nothing

One of the lessons of history - particularly recent history - is that an an extraordinary amount of time, money, and emotion are expended on things that are eventually useless. The Church is not immune from this.  Here are some of the fads we've encountered that have added absolutely nothing to our life.

Home Births

None of our children were born in our home. I wasn't born in my parents' home - or so I'm told, my memory of the event is a bit foggy. Our Ethiopian and Indian daughters may have been born at home, but there's no way to know, nor could we even conjecture what difference it may have made. There are no long-term studies on the benefits to anyone of home births. But this we know: if it wasn't for a hospital and well-trained MDs, both my wife and our infant daughter would be dead. Just like the 50,000 women who die every year in the state of Bihar, India, during or as a result of birthing... nearly all of whom give birth at home. 

Anti-Vaccination

No medical innovation has saved more lives or prevented more suffering than vaccines. They do not cause autism and they will not make your children gay. There are simply no benefits to non-vaccination, except the smug pride that comes from feeling more pure than everyone else. On the other hand, if enough people refuse vaccination we will have outbreaks of these diseases again - affecting not only those who chose exposure, but those with unwittingly compromised immune systems. Everyone in our family is vaccinated. We certainly did not adopt 3 daughters from impoverished countries only to refuse them medical care in the USA. 

Organic Food

As a chemical engineer, when I hear the word "organic" I think "carbon-containing" - which describes all food. I'm also aware that Friedrich Wohler overturned vitalism in 1828 by synthesizing urea, thus proving that there was no difference between "natural" and "synthetic" molecules. GMOs have been widely feared and yet widely consumed for decades without a shred of evidence that they are harmful, and they have greatly increased crop yields. Herbicides, insecticides and synthetic fertilizer have fed the world even as global population pushes towards 8 billion. Organic food is a luxury product for those who can afford it. Since we've spent all of our money adopting 4 children, we can't afford it. And since there is no evidence that it makes people healthier, we don't want it.

Veganism

The Lady is a pesceterian who, at the time of this writing, eats meat to ensure that her breastmilk has sufficient nutrients. I will eat anything except for peppermint, walnuts, and dogs. The Lady's desire to not eat meat grows from her love of animals, and there is some Biblical basis for the notion that humans were not designed to be meat-eaters. But vegetarianism and veganism do not, on the whole, make people better human beings or create a better society. They certainly haven't done much to improve conditions in India.

Attachment Parenting

Our children are fully attached to us - even the daughters we adopted only 7 months ago from India. Our baby frequently sleeps with us because it's convenient, but we can't wait for her to sleep on her own. It's natural for babies to attach to their parents; it's not something that can only be achieved with great effort. No one faces greater challenges in attachment than adoptive parents - yet very few practice "attachment parenting." What we have found useful is Karyn Purvis' and David Cross' The Connected Child and Trust-Based Relational Intervention(R), which are research-based approaches to healing the trauma of poor attachment due to abuse or abandonment.

Christian Movies

The worst movie I've ever seen was made by a church. In the wake of its (surprising?) success, churches and Hollywood studies began churning out scores of cheaply-made movies that pander to their audience's worst heresies, prejudices, and ignorances. I've seen only 2 "Christian movies" since The Passion of the Christ, and neither did anything to bolster my faith. They didn't even make me feel good for 90 minutes. There's only one reason these films are called "Christian": without the name of Christ attached to them as an involuntary endorsement, no one would watch them.

Scripted Evangelism

From "The Four Spiritual Laws" to "The Way of the Master," there has been a long-running attempt to reduce the proclamation of the gospel to an impersonal, rapidly scalable formula.   Evangelism is about introducing a human - an individual with a story, with their own existing beliefs and valid questions, with hopes and fears and desires - to the divine person of Jesus Christ. Trying to follow a one-size-fits-all script turns the whole endeavor into a cross between a sales pitch and an amateur theater production. Dave Barry was right, "People who want to share their religious beliefs with you almost never want you to share your beliefs with them. " The best openings I have ever had for sharing the gospel resulting from listening to others, or offering a unique perspective on an in-process conversation. 

Rapture Fever

I don't know when Jesus will return. Neither do you. Neither does anyone else. All attempts to connect present day events with any Biblical prophecies of any sort have resulted in a 100.00% failure rate. And note that Jesus coming back - something in which all Christians believe - is most definitely not the same thing as us leaving (something in which only a minority of Christians believe). When my Lord does return, I hope that he will find me hard at work instead of watching the clock.

Fear of Debt

Some friends gave us one of Dave Ramsey's books. It did help our finances, though not by as much as promised - we sold it on eBay for $17. We borrowed money to buy our house, to buy our land for expansion, to buy our new van, to complete all 4 of our adoptions and even to finance our adoption that failed (by which we enabled our son's birthmother to choose life for her daughter). I don't for a moment question or regret any of these decisions. Every dollar of interest that we have paid and will pay is worth it. Don't borrow money if it's not necessary, but if you need to in order to accomplish your goals or fulfill that to which what God has called you, then do it. It's not a moral issue.

Breastfeeding Forever

We couldn't breastfeed our son, whom we adopted at birth. Queen may have been breastfed, but we can't know. Pearl and Star probably were breastfed. We are breastfeeding our baby daughter, because the science is unambiguous that breastfeeding is best for babies, but we will stop long before she reaches puberty. God is a good Father who is aware of all of this, and all of our children will be okay. Jesus can still save you even if you weren't breastfed. And there is absolutely no good reason to breastfeed a 12-year-old, or even a 6-year-old, other than a woman's obsession with her own milk-making ability.

Courtship

My wife and I dated for 6 months, got engaged, and got married 9 months later. I wouldn't change a single aspect of the way we did things. She was an independent adult who had been to nearly 20 countries, was working full-time and in graduate school, and her father (an agnostic Jew) was 900 miles away. We did begin our relationship with the mutual agreement that if either of us could not see it moving towards marriage, we would break up. But if sitting together in church was equivalent to getting engaged, we never would have gotten to know each other. Joshua Harris' book and the anti-dating movement it spawned added nothing to our dating, our engagement, or our marriage.