Children Are Not a Reward

It’s not often that I tear something to pieces in anger after reading it. I had mostly enjoyed a recent article in WORLD Magazine, “Don’t Miss the Joy,” celebrating children and families – until one word in the last line stood out like a middle finger in my face. The author, OB/GYN Matt Anderson, concludes his wise observations with one completely wrong statement: “children are a joy and a reward.” A reward? For what?

God “rewards” most people with children, regardless of who they are or how they live. He “rewards” teenagers who have sex in the backseat of a car. He “rewards” women who built their careers on posing nude and participating in orgies, drug-addicted women on welfare, women who have had multiple abortions, women who have no regard for God or love for Jesus, women who – as Mary Poppins puts it – “can’t see beyond their own noses.” He “rewards” the average Saudi Arabian woman with 8 children, even though Saudi Arabia is one of the most fanatically anti-Christian countries in the world.

Meanwhile, a woman who never slept with anyone other than her husband, who has devoted her life to serving other in the name of Christ, is not “rewarded” with any children. Perhaps she is being punished for not being promiscuous, or not being shallow and self-centered?

Dr. Anderson’s claim is possibly the worst piece of theology I have ever heard. It is surpassed in its stupidity and thoughtlessness only by the words of an Indian pastor whom I otherwise respect, who once said that, “The fact that God gives us children is proof that He loves us.” Funny, I had always thought the gift of Jesus and His sacrifice on the cross was the proof of that. I will assume, for that pastor’s sake, that He uttered the words in some sort of drunken stupor.

It is true that children are a blessing. The Bible unequivocally affirms this, in contrast to our consumer culture that often sees them as a hassle and an obstacle to self-fulfillment. But not every blessing is a reward. The greatest blessings in my life – Jesus, my wife, my family, and others – have been undeserved. Some of these blessings required my preparation and could not be received until I was mature enough, but none were earned. There is a theological term for this: GRACE.

God does not give children to particular people because he is impressed with them. No one impresses God. God gives people children for one reason and one reason only: because He likes children.

A child is always a gift of grace.